The Tape Tragedy

Is it time yet? You know... time for school to start.

I'm ready.

Ready to have my kids separated and out of each other's hair for a few hours a day. My hope is that when they are reunited, they'll appreciate the gift of fellowship with which the Lord has blessed them.

Clay is up in his room, following a fit he has thrown. He is not normally prone to fit pitching, but he just gave me a taste of what he'd be like as a daughter. (Sorry for the gender slam... I'm just telling the truth as it relates to my daughter... and maybe a little bit, me.)

This all started because the kids were playing entirely too quietly, locked in Clay's room. I'm not completely opposed to my children locking their bedroom doors for some peace and quiet. I tend toward being an introvert and appreciate my own solitude, so I am okay with my kids wanting their own.

But all three behind one locked door? No. I'm not up for that. That can only mean they have something to hide.

And they did.

Tape.

There are precious few things in my home that I hold sacred. Those things are inside a drawer in my kitchen that the kids must ask before opening. Inside the Mommy Drawer are such items as three assorted types of tape, envelopes, a paper cutter, three-ring-hole punch, scissors, address labels, etc.

You get the idea. That drawer holds anything that in a child's eyes could be used creatively, but in mom's eyes, wastefully and messily.

My kiddos have huge portions of MacGyver in their souls. It's scary what they can do with some tape and scissors.

The problem is that they run me out of tape on a regular basis. I'm pretty sure this won't lead to them being involved in a life of crime. And it's not overly expensive to remedy. However, it creates problems when you realize every sticking item in the house is gone at 11:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve and you haven't begun to wrap the first present yet.

We could have tried Extra gum, I suppose. But instead we made a Wal-mart run.

As if we need more visits to Wal-mart in any given week of the year!

I am now the Tape Nazi.



Today, I found my three darlings behind Clay's bedroom door about halfway through a whole roll of two-inch masking tape. I would have given them the entire roll if they'd asked because I don't use masking tape often. However, they "forgot" to ask.

Forgot? Really? Then why the locked door?

They're sneaky. But I wasn't born a mommy just yesterday.

I took the tape away and told them to remember to ask for it tomorrow and they could have the rest of the tape for their crafty creations.

Clay blew like Mount Vesuvius and blamed Spencer, as he often does when he shares the responsibility.

Ranting and raving ensued. I let him vent, but gave him some chores to help burn off some steam.

He finished the chores but was still boiling, so I sat down with him to talk rationally. With Clay, this works nearly 98 percent of the time. He easily understands the concept of reason.

Not today. After about five minutes of wheel spinning on my part, he was still mad and still directing his anger solely at Spencer.

I sent him to his room. To sit on his bed. To think.

And he can't come out until he can tell me one nice thing about Spencer.

He's been up there awhile now.

Forty-eight days.

Oh. Wait! No, Clay hasn't been up there that long.

I just checked the calendar. That's how many days until school starts.

That's not so long.

Right?

(My nervous giggle and ticks are probably going to become obvious in public soon. You've been warned.)

In the meantime, I think I've found my own uses for tape.

Out of Town

I slipped away with our kids Thursday and Friday to go visit my family in Cookeville.

I had checked the calendar and found that for the next four weeks, there wouldn't be a chance to get out of Dodge at all. Spur-of-the-moment, I packed us up and left.

Bruce hardly missed us. He has his classes on Thursday night, and we were back in time for supper at his parents' house on Friday.

It was a short visit, but a good one.

Grandpa is doing well. He needed a haircut, but his barber was recently injured and isn't back to work yet. I told grandpa I'd use his razor and shave his head, but he declined. Although he has very little hair, he is apparently tied to the appearance of it atop his head.



Grandpa seems like his peppy self, just slower... because of his need to use the walker now. Every now and again, he gets impatient at how much slower he has to go and I'd watch him push it aside and walk a little on his own.

This old age business is for the birds when you see an independent, cantankerous soul take it on.

While there, we loaded up the van with my dad driving and me stuffed in the back seat beside Clay. Grandpa rode shotgun, and his walker was stowed in the back of the van. We headed to Helen's to eat supper.

Helen's is a country-cooking style restaurant that has been my grandpa's haunt for more years than I can recall. But he hasn't been there since before he got sick way back in March. I think he enjoyed the outing.

When we got back home, my brother and his wife and kids were home, so all of our kids got to play outside in the thick humidity.

My mom just got high-speed internet hooked up on her computer in Germany, so I'm going to post a bunch of pictures for her now of most of her grandkids.

Within minutes of having Evan's Jeep powerwheels out of my brother's garage, my kids had hijacked it.



But Evan quickly hopped aboard.



Wyatt was hard to catch on camera at first. He was hopping and jumping all over the yard. I snatched this shot when he collapsed... for a brief moment.



Loved this one of Terry and Jennifer's boys.



Big brother Evan.



Little brother Wyatt.



Another one of Wyatt. He had played with his car in the gravel on grandpa's garage floor and then swiped at the sweat on his face. I can't resist a picture of a dirty, sweaty little fella. All boy!



Couldn't resist this one either, of my best poser.



This is my grandpa's dinner bell. Actually, it's my grandma's dinner bell. It's attached to the deck of grandpa's house. Grandma used to ring it when lunch or supper was ready and grandpa was working in the fields. Come and get it! I love this bell. Rust included.



This one proves that even if the day is full of strife, at the very least I can expect my boys to show some love in sleep.



This was my first chance to use our new camera. I love it!

We came back quickly from Cookeville so we could spend time with Bruce's brother Bryan and his family who were in for a short blitz visit, too. I meant to take the camera over there as well, and take shots of some more beautiful models (better known as cousins). But, I forgot the camera at home.

Please say a prayer for my friend JoElla who is recovering in the hospital following an emergency appendectomy.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Saturday Singing - Beautiful

To Him, we are beautiful. Always. And without Him, not so much. Pretty simple equation... even for those of us who are mathematically challenged.

For more Then Sings My Soul Saturdays, go here.

Gentle Correction

I've been put in my place.

Gently though.

Because God's just like that.

For the past couple of weeks I have been contemplating ending my Sunday school teaching position earlier than I had at first intended. I had agreed to continue teaching until promotion Sunday, which is probably going to be the last Sunday in July.

But lately I've been feeling... irked, discontented, hurt, sad, mad, and probably a few other emotions that I can't even put words to.

I'm not going into details, because I know some of my church family reads this and it might create unnecessary hurt feelings. I doubt it, because I have only shared my feelings with two people... and they aren't talking (I'm WAY more confident in that than the Busch's baked beans guy was with his dog Duke).

In any case, the WHAT of the situation isn't really so much the problem as the WHO... meaning me. A couple things happened recently, though, that I will share, because those things made me question my direction.

First, out of the blue, I had a really sharp pang of missing choir. I quit more than a year ago to spend more time with the youth. Our new music minister talked with me a few times about returning, as have a few choir members. My answer was always the same... I clearly felt God leading me toward the youth and away from the choir. But if I felt God's leading back toward choir, I'd be there.

I'm an impulsive person though. I know this about myself. So I've made it a practice not to jump at the first pang. I'm waiting for more from the Lord. But I found it interesting that the first time I missed choir happened while I was in a season of discontent and doubt.

Second, I was picking up around the house and came across Bruce's Bible and Sunday school material. Bruce never leaves his stuff all willy-nilly in the house. He's far more precise about keeping things picked up than I am. But even more significant... when I put his Bible where it belonged, I held onto his Sunday school learner guide. And I gulped down two weeks' worth of lessons in the blink of an eye.

I realized this: I am really missing sitting with my husband during Sunday school.

I wondered if these things and the myriad of feelings I was having were God's nudging to get out of the youth department before that last Sunday in July.

I spoke with a friend who warned me not to make a decision based on emotion.

I spoke with my husband and asked him what he would think if I said I wanted to step down early. Bruce has always been my sounding board. He's smart. But more than that, he's wise. (But good gravy Pete, humility isn't his strength, so mum's the word!)

Bruce's response was this: "Hang on until the end."

I've condensed it. He said some other stuff, too, that spoke more specifically to those feelings I mentioned before.

I didn't really want to hear him say that "hang on" bit, but I knew it was coming. What I didn't know was coming was this: "I felt the same way when I was ending my position teaching in the youth department."

I had asked Bruce to step down from his teaching position right around the time our twins were born. I needed his undivided attention and help within our family then more than at any other time in our marriage.

But the very fact that Bruce felt the same way then that I was feeling now made me realize that all the little bees Satan had flying around my head and heart to irritate and sting me were just that. Bugs! And not one bit of it really mattered.

For the first time in weeks, I felt a peace.

I know God used my husband to speak to me... but my Lord knows I'm stubborn. So just to be sure I got the message, He nudged me more directly. With his word.

It kills me when He does that! (Because He thinks I warrant that kind of attention. Yay me!)

I've mentioned the Beth Moore study a group of us ladies at church have just started. Now... for the rest of the story. As I was preparing for the introductory session, I read some verses that Beth Moore put in the leader's guide, so not everyone got this. I got it though. Loud and clear.

Here are the verses:

"Finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have."
2 Corinthians 8:11-12.

Isn't that the coolest thing?

That study was written before I even was sure that I wouldn't be teaching Sunday school next year. And God told Beth Moore to include those verses in the leader's guide before I ever signed up to lead the study. And even though she was talking about the leadership of the study... not Sunday school... those verses are a perfect fit for my woes.

And even bigger... God told Paul to put that stuff in his letter to the church of Corinth way before Beth Moore was even born.

All that for me.

I'm not being prideful. There's nothing vain about a kid knowing her Daddy loves her. And there's no doubt that He gave me those verses because He loves me.

It's not fun for Him to see his children eaten up with doubt. The Lord passed on His word to give me clear direction so I don't have to listen to every little buzz Satan whispers in my ear.

And people say He isn't a personal God. That's just crazy talk!

Thankful Thursday - Summer Stuff

Summer is so busy. And that's saying a lot coming from me, because I take things at a slower pace than many moms I know.

I try to balance how many days in a week we run like crazy and how many we stay home and loaf. If we run too much, we're all grouchy. If we stay home too much, we're all cagey. It's a fine line.

I'm thankful that this summer actually seems easier than when the kids were younger. We're doing more fun things, and I'm not wildly stressed. The kids are obeying more reliably, which allows us more freedom.

Speaking of freedom, I'm trying to loosen the apron strings a bit with our oldest son and let him visit with other kids in the neighborhood. He's never wanted to do that during previous summers, but this year there are a few boys he rides the school bus with that he's buddying around with.

My major qualm with this is that people drive like idiots on the main road of our subdivision, which happens to be the street Clay's friends live on and play on. But I'm circumventing their natural inclination by asking Clay's friends to play in our yard and on our street, which is a cul-de-sac with very little traffic.

I've bought a bunch of cheap freezer pops to make the request sweeter.



If you treat them to a sugar high, they will come. And hopefully stay... at least until the heat drives them back indoors.

I'm thankful that the latter portion of this week was several degrees cooler than the temps were at the beginning of the week. Those 90 degree days just suck the energy right out of a person.

I'm thankful that, despite the heat, my husband and father-in-law have put in several days of work on our porch. It's coming along so nicely. Soon we'll be painting the spindles and railings and staining and sealing the floor.

For the first time in the eight years we've lived here, maybe we'll even use the deck and porch. The previous design of the railings allowed for copious amounts of wasps to nest anywhere that we might have tried to enjoy.

Clay has actually stood outside the garage doors after riding the bus home from school, screaming for me to open them up because he's afraid to come up the porch stairs to get in the front door because of the wasps. (He has good reason to be afraid. He's been swarmed before and was stung five consecutive times.) I'm hoping the new design doesn't give the little terrorists any place to hide.

Maybe when everything goes on sale at the end of summer we can buy a table with an umbrella and some chairs. I'm dreaming now, folks. But it might happen.

My grandpa was sick again last week. The doctor's sent him home with a prescription and orders to return on this past Tuesday. Plans were to admit him to the hospital again if he had not improved. But he was better and is at home. I'm taking the kids to visit him today. It'll be a short trip; we'll return tomorrow evening. I'm just so thankful for grandpa's health and to spend some time with him again with the kids.

God and Baseball

I have to share something that was sent to me by my good friend Kim. I have no idea who the author is, but if you do, please pass their name on to me so I can give them credit.

But first.

My dad has always told me that God was a baseball fan... because in Genesis 1:1 it says, "In the big inning..." Yeah, my dad's a funny guy.

I have had a love-hate relationship with baseball this season. Both our boys have played at this time in our family life when Bruce has been less available to be at games because of school.

Last night, Bruce got his turn. And his turn turned out to be a bit worse than most of my turns (but still cannot hold a candle to the mud incident!). I probably shouldn't, but I giggle a little when I think about Bruce's evening.

I needed to be at the church for the Beth Moore Bible study group (it went so well, by the way!) by 6 p.m.... a half hour ahead of when class was to start. Spencer's game was also set to start at 6 p.m. at a ballfield about a half hour from church. We worked all the details out, and I met Bruce at the fields at 5:30 p.m. where we traded out the kids, who had already been fed. I went on my way.

Bruce got home at 9 p.m. And that's when he finally got to eat supper.

Because the game got halted for several rain delays.

Yes, I am smiling as I type that. I do so love Bruce, but sometimes it makes me a tad happy that he experiences difficulties when in a sole-parent situation. Because I experience those kinds of difficulties at least weekly... and it used to be nearly daily, when the kids were younger!

When I called Bruce after the study and he told me about the game, his exact words were: "Thank God his team didn't win; otherwise he'd have had another game tomorrow!"

Is it any wonder our boys are not on the fast track to baseball superstardom?

Anyway, this baseball illustration is all good.


THE LORD'S BASEBALL GAME

Freddy and the Lord stood by to observe a baseball game. The Lord's team was playing Satan's team.

The Lord's team was at bat, the score was tied zero to zero, and it was the bottom of the 9th inning with two outs. They continued to watch as a batter stepped up to the plate named Love.

Love swung at the first pitch and hit a single, because "Love never fails."

The next batter was named Faith, who also got a single because Faith works with Love.

The next batter up was named Godly Wisdom. Satan wound up and threw the first pitch.

Godly Wisdom looked it over and let it pass: Ball one. Three more pitches and Godly Wisdom walked because he never swings at what Satan throws.

The bases were now loaded. The Lord then turned to Freddy and told him He was now
going to bring in His star player. Up to the plate stepped Grace.

Freddy said, "He sure doesn't look like much!"

Satan's whole team relaxed when they saw Grace. Thinking he had won the game, Satan wound up and fired his first pitch. To the shock of everyone, Grace hit the ball harder than anyone had ever seen!

But Satan was not worried; his center fielder let very few get by. He went up for the ball, but it went right through his glove, hit him on the head and sent him crashing on the ground.

The roaring crowds went wild as the ball continued over the fence... for a home run!

The Lord's team won!

The Lord then asked Freddy if he knew why Love, Faith and Godly Wisdom could get on base but couldn't win the game. Freddy answered that he didn't know why.

The Lord explained, "If your love, faith and wisdom had won the game, you would think you had done it by yourself. Love, Faith and Wisdom will get you on base but only My Grace can get you Home."


"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast." Ephesians 2:8-9

"For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless." Psalm 84:11

Stepping Up

Tonight I begin leading at our church the Beth Moore study, "Stepping Up: a Journey Through the Psalms of Ascent."



I have been excited about this study for a couple of months now. But I've forced myself to limit my excitement to only prayer during that time. I had to prioritize other things before this study, until my commitment to those areas was finished.

The last few days, I've sat down for hours of prep time. When I lead something, I get as prepared as I can be. I don't like to be surprised (unless God does the surprising!) by the unexpected because of any lack of study.

Now, I'm even more excited about this study. If there is anyone in my home church or an area church who is feeling down, please join us tonight for this study. (There is one lady joining us who attends a neighboring church, so you won't be alone if you don't attend Sunnyside normally. We'll all be really nice, I promise!)

UPDATED... I just went back and read this and I realize that it sounds like you need to be depressed to enjoy this study. That's not what I meant. I only used those words because of something Beth Moore says on the DVD. You can be as happy as you want to be and still benefit from this journey. That's the great thing about God's word... it gets us right where we are at that moment.

We'll meet each Tuesday evening this summer from 6:30-8:30 p.m. in a downstairs classroom under our main sanctuary. There will be signs posted on the front door to direct you to the classroom we'll be in.

I teared up watching the DVD introductory session yesterday. She talks about being down in whatever circumstance might be bothering us. But she also talks about our pilgrimage, growing closer to the Lord.

And that's all I'm going to reveal for now.

Please pray for our group as we study together this summer. Pray also that someone within the group will feel up to leading the class one week while my family is on vacation.

Pencil Sharpener

Spencer kept me awake Saturday night with another episode of a faux virus, in which we walked like mummies from his bed to the bathroom every hour for a session of dry heaves. Only once did he actually get sick. And not much. But enough that I stayed home from church with him.

By noon, it was apparent that he wasn't actually sick. He makes himself sick when he gets overly hungry... that sensation of being so hungry you feel sick works overtime in Spencer.

We went through with our plans to go to the Moodys' house for lunch. On the way there, Spencer said, "I really wish we didn't have to get up and leave my room so much last night." I smiled and asked him if he was sleepy, and he admitted he had just yawned. I suggested he might like a nap this afternoon, and he said he'd think about it.

He just woke up. Three hours after he laid down to think about it.

After lunch, while Bruce took the kids home, I made a third trip in the last week to Office Depot. I had one goal - to replace, for the second time, a defective battery-operated pencil sharpener.

Last weekend, I bought a basic pencil sharpener on sale for $8. I got home, opened the box, and noticed the receptacle where the pencil shavings are stored would not shut completely. I'm not a pencil sharpener designer, so on the chance that it was made that way on purpose, I actually read the instruction manual.

Who really needs instructions for a pencil sharpener? How hard can it be to insert some batteries and poke a dull pencil in a hole?

Still, they came in handy. The shaving receptacle was indeed supposed to shut tightly, according to the four-page instruction manual. (Four pages long mostly because every language except Swahili had to be represented. They evidently don't use this particular brand of battery-operated pencil sharpener in East Africa.)

Alas, my new sharpener was returned on my second trip to Office Depot. But this time, I opened the only other sharpener on the shelf that was identical to my original purchase. Same manufacturer's defect... a shaving holder that wouldn't shut completely.

So I upgraded. I picked another pencil sharpener, and paid an additional $12 for the difference in cost between the two.

Can you guess what's next? I got it home, out of the package, batteries loaded, pencil inserted... nothing. No grunt, no whir, no nothing. Dead.

Yesterday, I went back to Office Depot for the third time. I explained my situation to the first unfortunate sales clerk I came across. Only this time, I threw in this request for some customer satisfaction: "I want you to put batteries in the next pencil sharpener I chose and prove to me that it works before I leave this store and waste any more of my $4 per gallon gas to make another trip here."

I waited for fifteen minutes while the sales clerk tried to track down four double-A batteries. Her cash register stood right in front of the battery display. But I was good. I didn't show any obvious body language. And my mouth stayed shut. I didn't even allow myself to let off a loud sigh. I kept it inside.

Finally, batteries were found and placed inside the new pencil sharpener, the same version as the second one I chose.

And then the clerk looked at me and said, "You don't happen to have a pencil, do you?"

Uhhhh. No. I don't. I have four pens in my purse, but no pencil. But lucky for us both, we are standing in an OFFICE SUPPLY STORE. Surely, between the two of us, we can track down a pencil somewhere.

I thought that. I didn't say that. I just said "no" because I kept repeating two phrases in my head over and over. "I am a Christian. I need to act like one. I am a Christian. I need to act like one..."

A pencil was located, inserted, and the wooden dust flew wildly inside the tightly shut shavings receptacle.



Beautiful, isn't it?

I was happy.

For one brief, shining moment.

Until the clerk started doing all the register work. And asked me to pay an additional $12.

Office Depot. Taking Care of Business.

Right.

Well, I said it then. The very first thing that came to my mind. I didn't hold back. I had just enough presence of mind to control the modulation of my voice so that the words did not come out shouting, as they were in my head.

"No. I don't owe you any more money. This is an even trade. One broken pencil sharpener for one operating pencil sharpener. Of the same make and model. Which I have already paid for during my two previous visits here."

The clerk was nice. I will give her that.

But she maintained that "something wasn't right." Well, honey, I tried to tell you that when I first got here. And you are blowing your chance to remedy the situation.

I'm not sure what was going on, but she explained to me that her register was showing that I owed her money.

In my nicely controlled voice, I said, "That's not my problem. That's your register's problem. You scan the UPC symbol, an amount pops up on the screen, and I slide my debit card to pay that amount. I've done my part correctly."

She called the manager. She explained my dilemma.

I was back to my "no speaking" policy for the moment. I wanted to see if the manager could figure out that 8 + 12 = 20 without the assistance of the register. He stuck some keys in the register, turned them, hit some buttons, said the magic words "even trade" and gave his blessing to send me on my merry way.

I'm not sure if it was magic, the fact that my body was sprouting scales and dangerously close to morphing into a dragon and taking them all out with one little puff of fire, or God's protection.

Of them. And of me.

Whatever it was, I left with a headache.

Have we come to rely so heavily on computers that we can't even use common sense? Twenty bucks. She had all her fingers, and I assume all her toes, although I can't be certain because she wasn't wearing sandals. Surely she could add up to twenty by simply using the appendages God gave her. Works for me when I have a math problem.

I came home and took a nap.

One could argue validly that I should have maybe done that very thing before going to Office Depot. But who knew?