A Real Princess and A Big King

On my date night with Bruce on Saturday, we hopped, skipped and jumped over to Books-A-Million. Because I secretly fantasize that it is my home away from home.

I love everything about the place. The lighting is fantastic. It's quiet. It smells good in there, meaning that there's a noticeable absence of offensive odors related to smelly socks, food left too long in the sink without being ground through the garbage disposal, or hits and misses in the bathroom by the male children in our home. (Names are omitted to protect the guilty.)

Books-a-Million obviously houses fresh books, too; ones without the spine all broken, the cover all scuffed and the pages all dog-earred. I betcha money, if there were mirrors in that place, I'd look skinnier, too.

I can't help myself. I'm in love with BAM.

You know what's hysterical... to me anyway. BAM are my husband's initials, too. It's kismet, I tell you.

On Saturday, I roped my honey into buying me a book I've wanted for many months. It's called "His Princess: Love Letters from Your King" by Sheri Rose Shepherd.

Here's the devotion that I read today.

"My Princess,
You don't have to fit in. I know you want to be accepted by others, but you were not made to fit in. You, My Princess, were created to stand out. Not to draw attention to yourself, but to live the kind of life that leads others to Me. Remember, it's your choices that will pave your path to life. I will not force you to do anything. I have given you a free will to walk with Me or to walk away from Me. I want you to know that you can put on your crown at any time and let people know that you belong to Me. You have a royal call on your life. I want you to remember you wear the crown of everlasting life, and through you I will do abundantly more than you would ever dare to dream.
Love,
Your King and Crown Giver

'Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.' Galatians 1:10."

When I first read that, I thought about the 13- and 14-year-old girls in the Sunday school class I teach. Oh, that longing to fit in when you are a teen. That odd mixture of wanting to blend in so that you don't stick out in any negative way, but to still be an individual, someone unique and special.

I'm a grown woman who still seeks to fit in. But I don't need to. I don't have to blend. And I'm not even called to.

No meshing allowed. We're supposed to fly our freak flags... but, um, make sure it's your Jesus Freak flag. You can keep your other freaky things to yourself. Well, unless they glorify God, too. You get the idea.

I'll probably share this devotional with my youth girls.

The second time I read it, though, the words hit me fresh in my heart.

My favorite part of the letter from my King is near the end. That part about having a royal call on my life. And that God is going to do even greater things than I dare to dream.

I'm struggling with plans for the future right now.

All my kiddos will be in school in the fall. I'm wondering about what to do with myself in the upcoming year. I'll admit the idea of having some extra cash flowing into the home is enticing me to consider going back to work, but only part time. It's been eight years this month since I quit my last paying job, working in PR for the Texas Society of CPAs.

I did not like that job. The pay was excellent, but more days than not, I was bored.

Newspaper reporting, which is where I have most of the experience garnered following an English/journalism degree, was not boring to me. The pay was only slightly above pitiful, but I loved it. It's erratic, challenging, exciting, always fresh and new.

Some days I yearn to work in newspaper again. Other days, the thought of it makes me want to toss my lunch. Because it's erratic, challenging, exciting, always fresh and new... and I'm not sure how that will work with my personality type and my roles as both wife and mother.

I'm not the same person I was eight years ago. Having babies changed me. Moving to Northeast Tennessee, and the idea that it quite likely is my last move ever, has changed me. Being married even longer to Bruce has grown me (LOTS!). And deepening my love for my Savior has vastly altered my outlook.

My priority in considering working outside of home will always be to keep my family first. But no matter what ideas I have floating around in my head, He's got plans to do things even greater than what I dream. Abundantly more than what I think is "good stuff."

Doesn't it just blow your mind sometimes how good He is to us? In even the most piddly of decisions, He's considering what's best for us. He knows all the possibilities that we don't even have the sense to consider. And He works it out for our good. We really are Princesses, loved ever so sweetly by our King.

I leave you with this from Ayiesha Woods' song "Big Enough"



You turned water into wine - how extraordinary
Gave sight to the blind - and still I carry
My own load when you told me
To take your yoke ‘cause yours is easy

And even though my issues seem trivial
You alone are never too imperial
It's just the way that you love me
It's enough to convince me

And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!

I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand that you're big enough
But you're big enough Jesus!

You turned darkness into light - keep my lamp burning
And you are my everything
There's no denying, your love is so amazing
And even though my problems seem typical
Nothing for you is ever too difficult
You never have reservations - love without limitations

And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!

And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
That you're big enough - but you're big enough

Oh, no matter how I try to get around it - I'm reminded
Wherever I go I'm totally surrounded
It's all about you - I can never doubt you
Even if I wanted to…

And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't wanna believe
That you're big enough - but you're big enough yeah!

And I don't wanna box you in
You've been doing big things since the world began
Sometimes I just don't understand
That you're big enough - but you're big enough

That you're big enough
That you're big enough

That you're big enough
That you're big enough yeah!