A Butterfly Thank-You

I think our girl has been dealing with some test anxiety.

A few weeks ago, the first grade teachers sent home notes explaining that the students would soon be taking Accelerated Reading (AR) tests. Basically, the kids check out certain books within their reading range from the library and once they've read them, they take a short quiz on a computer about the book. Each student has a log sheet so we parents can list the books once they finish reading them and are ready to take the test.

Allison's log already listed her first book. And her test result. A 70.

Shortly thereafter, I noticed that Allison's library books weren't in her backpack. In the interest of not losing school library books or mixing them in with books from home or the local county library, the kids are supposed to leave their school library books in their backpacks. They can take them out to read them, but have to put them back in once they are finished.

But for a little more than a week, Allison wouldn't bring her books home. I asked her about it the first time I noticed their absence, and she said simply that she'd left them in her desk at school. I told her to bring at least one home so we could read it in preparation for the next AR test.

In one ear and right out the other one.

Or so I thought.

Because the next week... still no library book in her backpack.

I asked her about it again and that's when I got the waterworks. As she cried, she explained, "I can't take that test. I'm not ready. I've read the book, but I won't do well on the test. You saw! I failed the first one and I'll never do better."

On a side note, she took AR tests in kindergarten, so I wasn't sure where this was coming from. I thought it was ridiculous. She almost always does great on all her tests.

And since when is a 70 a failing grade?

I took a deep breath and told her, "Allison, you did not fail the AR test. So what if you didn't get a 100? Nobody gets a 100 all the time. And even if you did fail one, this isn't a score that goes toward your report card grade. It's so the teachers and your daddy and I can see how well you remember the details of a story so we can help you if you need help."

Whatever. That did not convince her one bit.

Sometimes my kids get this perfectionist bent and it drives me nuts. Obviously we've instilled it in them somehow, but I wish I realized how so we could stop doing whatever it is.

Finally, I told her that everyone messes up a test at some time. Dad did. Mom did. And even Clay does.

Hmmm... that got her attention. Because she thinks Clay is king of knowledge. Mostly because he spouts of trivia constantly. And since he's close to her age and not ancient like her parents, the possibility of Clay not doing perfect on a test started to make an impression.

While she went to the bathroom, I found Clay and whispered to him what was going on. I asked him his worst AR test, because I couldn't remember. But of course he did. A 60. I asked him if he would tell Allison and then reassure her that she'd do fine on her next test.

When she came out of the bathroom, he told her.

I thought we were over the hurdle, because she brought her books home after the next library visit.

But when I called her into the kitchen after school one day to have her read the book to me, she freaked out again.

"I'll never make a 100!" she said.

"Never" statements burn me up. And I don't have much patience for self doubt in my kids. I think they rock! So they should, too!

I told her, "Allison, you're going to read me that book. And when you are done, I'll go through the book and ask you all kinds of made-up test questions. Anything I can think of from the facts of the book. Let's just see how you do, okay?"

Most weeks, I give the kids practice spelling tests at home the day before their spelling tests in school. This concept was not new to her. So she agreed.

We had fun with the book. She did great reading it. And I asked every silly and serious question I could think of about the book. She nailed every one.

Then I told her, "I bet you get a 100 on that test!"

I volunteer to help the teachers with the students on their AR testing days. It gives me a chance to be around the kids that my children are around every day. You can learn a lot that way. And I don't mean anything about academics!

Allison was the very last student I worked with. And the only thing I said to her that showed special treatment to her as my daughter was at the beginning. I asked all the kids if they would read the test questions themselves or if they wanted me to read them. And then, for the ones that read them all by themselves, I remind them to ask me if they don't know a word. Allison tried to get me to read the test questions! Um, no. I told her she could read them all by herself, which she did.

Then I went on a mini-vacation in my head. Because I can't help the kids, even if I know the book they read.

At one point, I was pretty sure Allison answered one question wrong. Quickly I went back to hiking my make-believe mountain on my mental pretend vacation.

But when her test was over, she must not have missed it, because she aced that thing!

Whew! That was just a huge load off my back. I was so happy for her. Her little face just lit up. She knew she could do it now!

When she got in the van after school when I picked the kids up, she handed me something she said she'd made me. I told her I couldn't look at it right then, because I was driving. But once I got home, what I saw made my day.

She's such a sweet girl.

She made me this:



As a side note, she's done great on every test since then, too.