Just Say No

I'm pretty honest with my kids. If they ask a question, I do my best to be truthful and knowledgeable, so they can understand facts, our faith, and situations that come up.

I might need to reconsider. Because sometimes it comes back to haunt me.

At supper the other night, Clay said something about failing a class in school. Why he is concerned about that I have no idea. The kid is pretty much a straight A student.

"I don't expect any of you kids to fail a grade," I said. "I never failed a grade, and if I can do it, so can you. You kids are smarter than I was."

I should have worded that a bit differently.

I wasn't a stupid child. According to my dad, who probably remembers me at that age better than I do, I was fairly bright. But I don't remember having any great initiative to do well.

Other than studying spelling words on the school bus ride home, I don't remember a whole lot about elementary school. I liked it. Who wouldn't? It seemed like hours of play time to me, up to about middle school, or junior high, which is what it was called where I went to school.

But what my kids heard me say was that they are smarter than I was. And Clay picked right up on that statement.

"Yeah, probably because you did drugs," he said.

Umm. Yeah. That.

Whoever started that whole "honesty is the best policy" bit clearly did not have children.

My kids know that I smoked cigarettes. Never bought a pack, but I bummed a lot off of friends at various phases between junior high and early adulthood.

My kids also know that once upon a time, I drank alcoholic beverages. Pretty much any time I could get my hands on it between junior high and up to about a week before I turned 21. (The irony is that I became a Christian shortly before that momentous birthday and I've never had even a shot glass of alcohol since then.)

Sadly, I got my hands on it fairly frequently. Probably at first because we lived in Germany and it was on the shelves of nearly every store. But I don't recall having difficulty accessing it once back in the States either. Maybe it's changed now. I hope so.

In our house, cigarettes and alcohol are drugs. The kids know our health reasons for avoiding them. We've also talked about financial reasons to avoid starting a habit, or addiction. And they know the reasons the Lord gives for abstaining, and that we cling heartily to that.

They also know that their daddy was much better at rebuffing peer pressure than I was. So I always tell them, "I pray that you're as smart as dad about drugs and not as weak as mom."

But there is nothing quite like hearing your kids say "you did drugs" to make you wish you'd been wiser in your youth. I'm not sure I ever heard "Just Say No" until after I'd already said, "Umm, okay. I will if you will." And I'm not sure I'd have listened anyway.

Oh, how I pray for my kids and what they'll face in the years to come.