Gentle Correction

I've been put in my place.

Gently though.

Because God's just like that.

For the past couple of weeks I have been contemplating ending my Sunday school teaching position earlier than I had at first intended. I had agreed to continue teaching until promotion Sunday, which is probably going to be the last Sunday in July.

But lately I've been feeling... irked, discontented, hurt, sad, mad, and probably a few other emotions that I can't even put words to.

I'm not going into details, because I know some of my church family reads this and it might create unnecessary hurt feelings. I doubt it, because I have only shared my feelings with two people... and they aren't talking (I'm WAY more confident in that than the Busch's baked beans guy was with his dog Duke).

In any case, the WHAT of the situation isn't really so much the problem as the WHO... meaning me. A couple things happened recently, though, that I will share, because those things made me question my direction.

First, out of the blue, I had a really sharp pang of missing choir. I quit more than a year ago to spend more time with the youth. Our new music minister talked with me a few times about returning, as have a few choir members. My answer was always the same... I clearly felt God leading me toward the youth and away from the choir. But if I felt God's leading back toward choir, I'd be there.

I'm an impulsive person though. I know this about myself. So I've made it a practice not to jump at the first pang. I'm waiting for more from the Lord. But I found it interesting that the first time I missed choir happened while I was in a season of discontent and doubt.

Second, I was picking up around the house and came across Bruce's Bible and Sunday school material. Bruce never leaves his stuff all willy-nilly in the house. He's far more precise about keeping things picked up than I am. But even more significant... when I put his Bible where it belonged, I held onto his Sunday school learner guide. And I gulped down two weeks' worth of lessons in the blink of an eye.

I realized this: I am really missing sitting with my husband during Sunday school.

I wondered if these things and the myriad of feelings I was having were God's nudging to get out of the youth department before that last Sunday in July.

I spoke with a friend who warned me not to make a decision based on emotion.

I spoke with my husband and asked him what he would think if I said I wanted to step down early. Bruce has always been my sounding board. He's smart. But more than that, he's wise. (But good gravy Pete, humility isn't his strength, so mum's the word!)

Bruce's response was this: "Hang on until the end."

I've condensed it. He said some other stuff, too, that spoke more specifically to those feelings I mentioned before.

I didn't really want to hear him say that "hang on" bit, but I knew it was coming. What I didn't know was coming was this: "I felt the same way when I was ending my position teaching in the youth department."

I had asked Bruce to step down from his teaching position right around the time our twins were born. I needed his undivided attention and help within our family then more than at any other time in our marriage.

But the very fact that Bruce felt the same way then that I was feeling now made me realize that all the little bees Satan had flying around my head and heart to irritate and sting me were just that. Bugs! And not one bit of it really mattered.

For the first time in weeks, I felt a peace.

I know God used my husband to speak to me... but my Lord knows I'm stubborn. So just to be sure I got the message, He nudged me more directly. With his word.

It kills me when He does that! (Because He thinks I warrant that kind of attention. Yay me!)

I've mentioned the Beth Moore study a group of us ladies at church have just started. Now... for the rest of the story. As I was preparing for the introductory session, I read some verses that Beth Moore put in the leader's guide, so not everyone got this. I got it though. Loud and clear.

Here are the verses:

"Finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion of it, according to your means. For if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have."
2 Corinthians 8:11-12.

Isn't that the coolest thing?

That study was written before I even was sure that I wouldn't be teaching Sunday school next year. And God told Beth Moore to include those verses in the leader's guide before I ever signed up to lead the study. And even though she was talking about the leadership of the study... not Sunday school... those verses are a perfect fit for my woes.

And even bigger... God told Paul to put that stuff in his letter to the church of Corinth way before Beth Moore was even born.

All that for me.

I'm not being prideful. There's nothing vain about a kid knowing her Daddy loves her. And there's no doubt that He gave me those verses because He loves me.

It's not fun for Him to see his children eaten up with doubt. The Lord passed on His word to give me clear direction so I don't have to listen to every little buzz Satan whispers in my ear.

And people say He isn't a personal God. That's just crazy talk!