100th Post

This marks my 100th post, so I thought I'd do a "100 Things About Me" like I've seen on some other sites.

You are sure to find something in here that you don't know about me. I know there's one thing that even my parents and spouse don't know. At the end, guess which one it is.

Here goes. For those inquiring minds out there. (All three of you.)

100. I was born in Wichita, but because the military moved us soon after, I don’t remember a thing about it.

99. Even though I don’t think it’s a typical tourist mecca, I’d like to get back to Wichita some day and see what it’s like.

98. My husband has been to Wichita on a business trip. He sent me pictures via e-mail while he was there. I don’t think he was overly impressed.

97. When I was a teenager, I thought everything about me was boring and average. Brown hair – blah. Brown eyes – blah, blah. Skinny – blah, blah, blah. Nothing really stood out and made an impression.

96. I could use a little bit more “boring” and “average” in my day now that I am Mom to three kids.

95. I’d like for my hair to still be naturally brown, and not brown because of the work of a hair stylist.

94. I also wouldn’t mind being that skinny again. My teen diet of chocolate, candy and chips doesn’t work so well for me now. And while things definitely stand out now, they are those things that ought not to.

93. I like my brown eyes now. I just wish they could see better. One of these days, I’m hoping to have Lasik surgery to remedy that.

92. Lasik surgery scares me. A guy I used to work with had the surgery and claimed that you can smell the laser burning your eye. That bothers me. A lot.

91. I like crow’s feet. They don’t mean you’re old. They mean you’ve laughed a lot.

90. Because my mom is German, and my dad was in the military, we lived in Germany for five years. While there, I tried such foods as blood sausage, pickled herring and liver-ball soup.

89. I like them all and would eat them again.

88. Because my parent’s adventurous attitudes about food transferred to me, I’ve also eaten alligator, squid, octopus, shark and oysters.

87. I didn’t like the oysters. I’m not fond of food sliding down my throat like it has a mind of its own.

86. I didn’t try snails. My dad did. I thought it looked too familiar… like the duck poop I had seen surrounding a local lake in one of the areas we lived when I was a kid.

85. One of my favorite drinks when I was little was Welch’s grape soda. I’d walk, with change in pocket, from our house to the temporary military housing where there was a coke machine. I’d buy my grape soda, and walk home on a cloud while drinking my purple bliss. That was simple happiness to an eight-year-old.

84. I also really liked Shirley Temples. At one time, my mom worked at the NCO Club at one of the bases where we lived. The bartender fixed me lots of Shirley Temples, which is basically just Sprite with a floating maraschino cherry and cherry juice.

83. The bartender also gave me lots of change so I could play “Fly Like an Eagle” over and over again on the jukebox machine.

82. During that time of my life, I developed a strong addiction for Coffeemate Creamer. While mom was doing her job, I’d sneak the little individual packets of Coffeemate off the tables and hide in a corner, eating it.

81. Today, my coffee is really more creamer than coffee. Bruce teases me and says it doesn’t even look like coffee, but more like hot chocolate. So I tease back and say, “I like my coffee like I like my men. Hot and white.” It’s just pure silliness, but we smile about it.

80. I’ve never broken any bones in my body.

79. That’s probably because I’m a big chicken and don’t get in enough situations where bone breaking might occur.

78. Reading is one of my favorite things. I get that from my dad.

77. When I was a teenager, my personal bestseller’s list always included the latest Archie comic books.

76. I like Jughead. But not Veronica. What does Archie even see in her?

75. Reading encourages my slug-like behavior, I know. But my brain gets exercised. And I don’t sweat.

74. I do not like to sweat. It tickles when a drop slides down your back. And I don’t like scratching a tickle and pulling back wet fingertips.

73. I like to garden, although I don’t have my own garden.

72. Sweating while gardening is less disgusting than sweating at any other time. I don’t know why that is, it just is.

71. My grandpa’s house is where I learned my earliest gardening skills.

70. I can dig ‘taters like nobody’s business. But there is nothing quite so nasty as squishing your hand into a rotten potato and drawing it back only to have it reek like death.

69. I love picking tomatoes. They’re easy to see on the vine, and big enough to grasp easily. And when you wash your hands afterwards, the lather turns green. I don’t know why, but I like it.

68. Nobody makes fried okra like my grandma did. Nobody.

67. Fried is the only way to eat okra. It’s the only cooking method that decreases the snail-like slime that comes naturally to that particular veggie.

66. While my mom, grandma, and Oma are (or were) all fantastic cooks, I got married not knowing how to fix much more than Campbell’s chicken noodle soup.

65. After almost 14 years of marriage, I’ve become a very good cook. So says my husband. My kids, not so much, but they go through picky phases so I excuse their disdain.

64. On occasion, I even make a meal better than my mother-in-law.

63. Those times are so rare that I write them on the calendar.

62. I have kept every calendar since our first child, Clay, was born.

61. It’s my personal method of journaling. Because what new mom has the time to jot down every little thing her precious children do?

60. I have never looked back at those saved calendars to recall anything my children have done.

59. But I might. One day. And they’ll be there when that day comes. Dusty, perhaps, but available nonetheless.

58. I’m a packrat. And not even a recovering one.

57. I have high Martha-Stewart-and-Emilie-Barnes type hope that one day I’ll be free of this vice.

56. But for now, I’m still stacking up countless copies of Southern Living magazines.

55. There is nothing in my home that even vaguely resembles anything that I’ve seen in the pages of Southern Living.

54. Southern Living is to me what Playboy is to Hugh Hefner. Except I don’t own Southern Living magazine. And Hef has the money to make his dreams happen.

53. There is also nothing in our home that remotely resembles anything in Playboy.

52. Not that I know what’s in Playboy.

51. I do know what’s in Playgirl. When my best friend and I both turned 18, we went to the local bookstore and perused a copy. Our main goal was to have someone card us so we could show we were 18.

50. I sometimes over share. Like I just did.

49. I enjoy hearing laughter, especially my family’s.

48. Bruce’s laugh is one of the first things I loved about him.

47. I’m not afraid to laugh at myself. Or have others laugh at me. If something’s funny, it’s funny, no matter to whom it happens.

46. I never laugh at another person in a way that might be hurtful. That’s not funny; it’s cruel.

45. I’ve been laughed at in that cruel way.

44. That’s okay though, because I’m smarter than those who laughed. And that’s funny to me, too.

43. I don’t like needles. The shot kind. I’m okay with the sewing kind.

42. My brothers attempted to scar me for life when they found out about my needle phobia by getting my grandpa’s empty syringes that he used to vaccinate his cattle and chasing me around the house with them.

41. I do not like to be chased with syringes, with or without needles attached.

40. I used to faint each and every time I got a shot or had blood drawn.

39. I even fainted once after watching my dog get a shot.

38. I no longer have the phobia, but only because I developed a couple of health issues that require having blood drawn on a regular basis.

37. I still get light-headed when my kids get shots though.

36. I had to pull over while driving following an appointment with the pediatrician after Spencer and Allison got their immunizations for kindergarten. Spencer reminded me of the incident not too long ago.

35. I think my kids are the best kids anywhere. No, really. My kids really are better than your kids. For me. Your kids are better for you.

34. I don’t think my kids are angels. I’d have to be deaf, dumb and blind to think that. But they are great kids.

33. I don’t always tell him or show him often enough, but most days of the week I realize that Bruce is the best man for me. I’m not sure anyone else could handle me. I’m not high-maintenance in the least when it comes to upkeep, but I’ve been known to behave like a Diva at times.

32. My mother-in-law let me borrow the book, “Liberated Through Submission,” by P.B. Wilson.

31. My mother-in-law knows me very well.

30. She loves me anyway.

29. I am the only granddaughter on both my mother’s and father’s sides of the family.

28. My children are not in that position on either side of the family.

27. But they get the bonus of having aunts, uncles, and cousins to call their own.

26. I can speak German. Probably on about an upper elementary school level. I understand it fluently, though.

25. I am also fluent in Mom-ese. But not Whin-ese. I refuse to learn that language no matter how much my daughter tries to teach me.

24. I like to travel. By car. Trains and boats are okay, too.

23. I don’t like flying. Despite all the time on Air Force bases as a kid, and “hopping” flights from the states to Germany and vice versa, I don’t care for airports. And I don’t like the sensation of flying.

22. I do, however, like the feeling of having my ears pop when the plane ascends and descends.

21. But I can get that feeling in a car if I drive really fast down the mountain from Monterey to Cookeville when I go visit my family.

20. It has been 18 years since I’ve gotten a ticket from an officer.

19. It’s only a matter of time. Even though I’m a good driver, I slip up on occasion.

18. I’ve never been arrested.

17. I have been in jail though. (Check out your local Citizens Academy for an experience that will be truly enlightening. You’ll have new respect for law enforcement officials.)

16. Of all the writers of the Bible, I identify most with Paul. Paul was super bold in his faith. He walked his talk – no ifs, ands or buts. I don’t necessarily share those traits.

15. But the part of him that I “get” is the part where Paul said in Romans 7, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do…. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do – this I keep on doing.”

14. When I was in elementary school, I wanted to be a veterinarian when I grew up. I love animals.

13. My dream of being a vet ended after a school field trip to a vet’s office, at which we were shown a glass jar full of formaldehyde and a dog heart infested with heart worms. It looked like spaghetti. Without the sauce.

12. After that I decided my best bet would be to get married right out of high school and start a family. College scared me.

11. The problem with that plan was that by the time I’d finished high school, I’d only had one serious boyfriend, and he was an ocean away at that point, in Germany.

10. Plan C, a career in journalism, came as a fluke.

9. My best friend in high school and I had passed many a note during our various classes together. She is the person who first suggested to me that I do something with writing. So on to college I went.

8. The moral of that story is that it is not always a bad thing to write notes in class. Just don’t get caught.

7. I’ve been sent to the principal’s office twice. The first time was in first grade when I peeped over one of the stalls in the bathroom by standing on the toilet seat. There wasn’t anybody even in the other stall. I have no idea what I was thinking. As luck would have it, a very mean teacher came in and caught me red handed. The second time was in high school. For talking in class. Are you shocked? Neither were my parents.

6. I was late to learn to talk. My dad says that I didn’t talk until I turned almost three…. And that I haven’t shut up since then.

5. I’m making up for lost time.

4. I love music.

3. I tried playing the flute for a bit when I was in fifth grade. Did you know you have to really practice to get any good at that? I wasn’t ever any good, so I quit.

2. I took choir classes instead. I practice singing a lot. In the shower. In the car. While loading the dishwasher. I’m not necessarily good at it, but I haven’t quit.

1. Now I’m quitting. 100 Things About Me is really too much. Shew!