Thankful Thursday - my HBO

We're not into paying for premium television channels in our household, so HBO is not what you think. In this case, it stands for Honey Bunches of Oats. But I'm not talking about the cereal either, at least not directly (although I really do like the Cinnamon Clusters version).

This is just cheesy to admit, but I'm okay with that. I'm secure in my cheesiness. Honey Bunches of Oats is what I sometimes call Bruce.

When we first started dating, we didn't do nicknames. No "sweetheart", "babe" or "darling" for us. We were far too refined for that. (Insecure, more likely!) Most of the time, we'd refer to each other by our last names. He was Moody to me, and I was Mitchell to him. Very romantic, huh?

When we first married, nicknames still felt... odd. But the first one that stuck was "honey". And then that crazy cereal company went and polluted it for me. They must have had a fantastic commercial around that time, because every time I called Bruce "honey," it was shortly thereafter followed by "bunches of oats". It just rolled off my tongue. I couldn't control it. And by then Bruce already realized, too late, the kind of strange person he'd married, so he accepted the moniker.

Anyway, I'm thankful this Thursday for my spouse. He's been gone on business, but will soon return to the fold. In his honor, I've compiled a PROs and CONs list to him being gone.

PRO: I get the whole queen-sized bed to myself, with no fighting over covers.
CON: For some odd reason, I still sleep the whole night on my side only, although, I do hug his pillow because it smells like his deodorant. And even with all the covers, it's still cold without him.

PRO: I can cook what I want, including casseroles, which he absolutely frowns upon.
CON: He's programmed at least one of our kids. Allison evidently doesn't care for nacho casserole any more than Bruce would.

PRO: I don't have to shave my legs. It's winter, after all, and Bruce isn't here to notice.
CON: While liberating for a couple of days, after awhile... my hairy legs just start to itch. And I begin to feel like a Sasquatch. My razor is my friend.

PRO: I don't clean house while he's gone.
CON: I clean before he leaves, so he won't think the hotel is a nicer place than home. And I always clean like crazy before he comes home, because I don't want him to miss the hotel.

PRO: I can watch The Complete Jane Austen in peace when it comes on Masterpiece. No snickering on the sidelines.
CON: He's programmed another one of our kids to beg me to watch Nascar. I don't think so! Not while I control the remote. Daddy will be home soon.

PRO: For years when we first married, I just didn't get that whole "and the two shall become one flesh" thing. Oh, symbolically, it made sense, but in reality, how does that work with two very independent people?

Before I met Bruce, after a relationship with a particularly clingy guy had ended, I remember telling a friend, "When I get married, it'll be because I want to be with that person, and not because I need them." And to this day, I don't feel like I need Bruce... not in the Spanish-moss-draped-over-southern-trees way. Spanish moss is an epiphyte, "a plant that derives its moisture and nutrients from the air and rain and grows usually on another plant." (Merriam-Webster Dictionary). I am not Spanish moss.

But when Bruce is gone, I realize that without him, I am not me. And it hits me that some time during the last almost 14 years, we have indeed become "one flesh".

And there is no CON to that.