Nathan and all the other boys from Clay's class have been invited to Clay's birthday party this Saturday.
I made Clay invite every one of those boys because it stinks to be the one kid left out. They had a new boy join the class near the very end of the school year, and though Clay does not know him well, he was also invited. Some of the boys will certainly decide not to come, because I know from things Clay has said that they are not great friends. That's their choice. I felt it was the right thing for Clay to invite each of them. That part was our choice.
Just a little side issue... that choice comes because I have major issues with cliques. I hate 'em. They are horribly divisive and usually the result of one person (or a few) with power issues.
I've been on the outside of cliques all my life, and it used to tear me up. But I have come to the conclusion that those times have been God's protection over me. He has always provided me with friends I can trust, and that outweighs a "friend" that is only friendly to my face any day.
For now, I'm just trying to guard my kids from being the ones who ostracize others. To me, being in a clique is another form of bullying, and my kids are not going to be raised to become bullies.
I'll be stepping down now.
Turns out that Nathan and Clay are just a few days apart in age, too. So Clay received a reciprocal invite to Nathan's birthday party, which is in about a week. Funny thing: those boys picked the very same invitation, too... Star Wars stuff.
Nathan has a younger sister, Jordan, who is the same age as Spencer and Allison. That was perfect, too. Allison gets very little time to play with girls, so she cherishes every moment. The Barbies were plentiful!
Before we went to their home, Clay asked me to drop him off and leave. Can you believe that? He didn't want Spencer playing with his friend. That's the trouble with my boys... Big Brother does not want to share his buddies, and Little Brother just wants to do whatever Big Brother is doing. They'll get it all figured out one of these days.
I wasn't going to drop Clay off and leave. Nathan's mom, Valerie, and I have talked a few times on the phone during the school year, but we really didn't know each other well.
There have been a few parents who have dropped their children at my home, not knowing me from Adam. I am not that kind of parent.
I had the neatest time talking with Valerie. We talked about our faith, our children, our dogs, Biker Week at Myrtle Beach and camping. I was blessed to enjoy a little mommy time amidst all the laughter and rambunctiousness of our kids.
3 comments:
I TOTALLY agree with you on the cliq issue. In high school, I was never in the most popular crowd because I disagreed with how they treated everyone. My group of friends were classified as the middle class...or whatever...because we were friends with everyone and treated everyone the same. I think I am good about not being two faced too...like you were saying how some are friendly only to your face...I just don't see the point in that. If I don't care for someone, I just avoid them and don't talk to them because if I do talk to them, it is obvious how I feel since I don't hide things well...and I TRY not to be mean intentionally (although I am told quite often that I am a mean person)! ha
I have given Davis the same speech you are talking about many times about including everyone...I have NOT been included many times and it hurts whether done intentionally or not. Davis knows it from the other side too though...when he had glasses he was called all kinds of names and it is a shame that kids start classifying you at such a young age! I despise that!
I am also with you on the going to friend's houses. The only friends Davis has stayed with WITHOUT me there has been people at church that I know well. I just don't see how parents can just let them go and be so trusting with all the crazy people out there today. If you think about it...people probably shouldn't leave their kids with me...after all I am always dropping my own kids! ha ha ;-)
I LOVE the soap box picture...that is hilarious...You come up with the wittiest comments...LOVE THEM....I agree with you 100%...I, myself, had issues with "getting to know others" as a child...and I can't say that I am 100% over that either...=) I am a work in progress....getting our feelings hurt, either as an adult or a child is a difficult thing to get over....I try to teach my kids the same thing...to be sure to include others in activities ect...but I also am in constant prayer for them and the choices that they make in their daily lives...This world we live in can be such a difficult place sometimes....Great post....thanks for sharing
What a small world!! That Valerie you speak of is one of my running buddies!! Her son Nathan was on our Upward team a couple of years ago. Jarrett really likes Nathan...they see each other now at the gym. They're such a sweet family.
Ok...I can get WAY UP on my soapbox about cliques! In fact I have talked with you about it before...perhaps in the middle of Walmart down the cleaning aisle!! LOL!! My definition of a clique is someone that intentionally leaves someone out..while always including others. People are closer friends with some people than others...that's ok...I see that as just being life. We all have different interests. Again..that's just life. Intentional is the KEY word here.
My parents taught me to always be kind to everyone. If you know me, you know that I don't know a stranger. I will be your friend till the end unless I have tried so many times to be that friend only to realize it's clearly not a healthy relationship to be in...then I'm OUT, keeping my distance and giving it to the Lord. As far as being friendly only to your face...that's just WRONG...again if you know me...you know what you see is what you get! Scary huh! I've always been a staightforward person..I've been called blunt from time to time. To that I say...Oh well. You know what, if people don't want to know the truth they probably should steer clear from asking MWAH. LOL!!
Wait just a second...
I need to climb down from my very own soapbox...it may take a minute, like I said, it's a tall one!! tee-hee-hee =-)
So anyways....Michael and I are deligently trying to raise Jarrett and Blake the same way. I hate to see someone be the "odd man out" no matter what age. I have been that person...in my younger years and also my not so younger years. It stinks! Jarrett has such a big heart....he is always so sweet to everyone....Blake, on the other hand, will be my challenge!! LOL!!!!
Ok...about the spending the night thing. I'm always the "bad momma" because I don't just say OK...to the sleep overs that Jarrett gets invited too. There's been plenty that Jarrett's not been to....he can go play for a while, but not stay the night until I know the family well. Jarrett has only had a couple overnight adventures with close friends and of course family.
Ok...I wrote yet another book.
Have a great weekend Tanja.
Once again, GREAT post.
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